The goal of a first date is to decide if there is going to be a
second one. Whether you are meeting blindly or were casual friends first, now
is your opportunity to show your best self. If you are looking forward to
clinching that second date, here are some of the most popular 10 ‘deal-breakers’
to keep in mind for making that first impression.
1. Dress Your Best – One would think this is an obvious one, but so many first dates are thought of as ‘no big deal’. This is the time to put your best self forward – so please, don’t show up to a dinner date in ripped, dirty clothing or skimp out on a shower. You want to take a good hard look in the mirror and ensure you show this person you care enough to present nicely.
2. Ex Talk – Whether you are fresh out of a relationship or just making conversation, the ex is off-limits on a first date. You want to get to know each other here and not talk about prior long-term bonds with other people.
3. The One Glass Rule – A first date is not the time to show off your partying self. Stick to the one glass rule when it comes to liquor. Getting drunk is not a turn on and completely inappropriate.
4. Silence The Cell – This is a major pet peeve for most. You are out on a date and whip out that cell phone or answer a ‘quick text’. You’ve just sent the message “I’m just not that into you” when you put your phone friends ahead of your date.
5. Take a Breath – Many first dates can become awkward or go south fast when only one is doing all the talking. Dating is a give and a take, so make sure you are pausing to listen and get to know the person sitting across from you.
6. Rude to Waitstaff – A huge turnoff for many is when the date is rude to the waiter, the valet guy or anyone while on the date. If he’s rude to service workers, what’s to stop him from being rude to you?
7. Oversharing – Again, this is a first impression-get to know you – session. It is not the time to tell your date you want six babies or you lost your virginity when you were 14. This is the time to pull back the curtain, ever so slightly not whip it back completely!
8. Showing Off – Yes, you may have an amazing, fancy car and a fab apartment. Or, perhaps you are CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation. Money is a short-lived impression that isn’t enough to sustain a long-term relationship. ‘Show Me The Money’ once she’s had a chance to get to know the essential you first.
9. Nervousness in Check – This one is hard and we all understand it, but trying to keep those nerves at bay. An overly sweaty first date or hysterically laughing at things that are barely funny can give off a negative first impression. Try to breathe and just be yourself. Excuse yourself to the bathroom if you need a moment. Focus on having fun, not the anxiety of the future potential.
10. No Sex of Any Kind – Did I read that right? Yes, you did. There is to be no sex on any first date!!! Not only is this a deal breaker, this is an awful idea. It sends the message that you are more physically interested than emotionally interested thus killing any long-term potential here.
Michelle Adewunmi is a professional matchmaker and owner of Perfect Pairings, a matchmaking service connecting singles in the St. Louis area. www.perfectpairingsstl.com